When Dogs Attack or Stare For an Uncomfortably Long Time

My daily run/run away from my troubles took place at a soccer field conveniantly located behind my bloc apartment. Usually my jog consists of willing myself to do 30 laps, but on a cold thursday in october, I had an unwelcome visitor. As I rounded the corner of my bloc, I hear what I think is a human walking, but with really noisy, hard bottomed shoes. What do my wandering eyes come upon but a dog the size of bethoveen (st. bernard, not deaf musican). Stray dogs are nothing new in my line of work, so I do a double take then be on my way. But no. This dog starts to mimick me. I go left, it (not he or she) goes left. I start to walk backwards but it keeps the same distance between us. My mind goes to straight to FOX's 'When Animals Attack" and every grizzly youtube video there is. In my arsenal at this moment I have 1) a house key 2) baggy running shorts, thanks in no small part to the prolonged case of food poisoning. And thats it. All I can think of at this point in terms of strategy is coughing really loud and shuffling my feet (damn sting rays). I am truly inbetween a rock and a man-eating monster. What could make this better? Three kids ride up on bikes, look at me, the bear, and decide they should stick around for the outcome. They sit down and stare. Popcorn could of been served and I would not have been surprised. Next thing I know, a 60 year old woman is behind me, and with no greater concern that an ant, she shoos the 'thing' away. Gives me a toothless smile, and walks away. Yeah,...thats Tuesday. Can't wait for Wednesday.