Thursday, August 6, 2009

Duck and Cover

(Background on today's entry: I spent 13 years living in Orange County, between the formidable years of 8-21, which, before I arrived from the sunny skies of Seattle, Washington, was Earthquake country. I moved into my house 2 weeks after the infamous Northridge Earthquake, and 1/3rd of elementary school was spent 'preparing' for the big one. Jumping under my desk at the slighest sisemic movement was like watching Simpsons sunday, at 8pm: clockwork. However, I had the unusual experience of never actually being in an earthquake. During not one but THREE earthquakes I was out of the state. The one time there was supposedly a quake, I was in my pool, and naturally assumed with my preadolescant mind that my cannonball was just that awesome. Secondly, I was involved in a tremor during my college years at the UC Santa Cruz, and to be fair, was friday night, mid-way through a third game of beer pong. All I remember is my friend and roommate looking confused, and running for a door frame, while myself and my other roommate continued playing BP, not entirely sure if the Natty Ice was kicking in a little more than usual. With this resume of earthquake activitiy, the following story can commence)

(Oh, and I've been on the Earthquake ride at Universal Studios at least 15 times)

Time line: 10:30am- I am up at the crack of 10am, ready to start my day. Snooze button has only been hit twice, with 45 minutes intervals.

10:40- Omlette is cooked to perfection, or enough to satisfy my morning craving for anything eatible.

10:43-, feeds my other craving.

10:45- My world begins to shake, violently.

10:45:02- My mind tells me "hey, dude, this is an earthquake"

10:45:04- The following phrases go through my mind "Stop, drop and roll", "Point, aim, shoot", "Only you can prevent forest fires"....but nothing relative to Earthquake safety.

10:45:09- I realize that my apartment has no table to hide under, and is essentially the cabin of the SS Minnow.

10:45:11- Door frame! I jump out into the hall, do an Atlas pose in the doorway and hope for the best.

10:45:13- DAMNIT, my dvds are falling. Hours and hours spent alphabetizing...Arrested Development is now nestled next to X-Files,...years of theraphy will be needed to erase this.

10:45:15- Phew, the tectonic plates have stopped gettin' their grove on. The world returns to normal.

10:45:17- I realize what I am wearing: Boxer briefs,...and only boxer the hallway of my apartment building.

Official report: According to the European-Mediterranean Seismological Center, the earthquake was of the magnitude of 4,7 on the Richter scale with an epicenter 61 km east of Varna, 24 km east of Kavarna and 20 km southeast of Shabla.

[The DVDs are now safely back in their there place. Let's call take a deep breath]