Hey Party People-

Usually, there is a log jam of "year in review" articles at or around the 31st of December. They are amusing, but kind of grow into a feeling of resentment or gloating. To buck this trend I thought it would only be appropriate for a new approach:

"The First Firsts"

First time I've even been bit by a dog (no skin puncture, just ripped jeans)

First time I have had (and purchased) a beer in a movie theatre

First time I have seen someone crash a bike,...while walking it

First time I've been driven around in a donkey cart

First time I've seen an indoor skating rink that is actually just white plywood

First time I've been asked to translate the words to a Lil' Wayne song

First time I've been referred to only as "English" by a neighbor (i.e. "How are you, English?")

First time I've been paid more for shipping an handling than the actual item I want to ship

First time I've even been schooled by a 10 year old in soccer

First time I've throw garbage into a dumpster only to have a cat jump out at me

First time I've had homemade alcohol

First time I've been asked to drink homemade alcohol before I've had breakfast

First time I've seen peanut butter and did a celebratory fist pump

First time I've watched a live sporting event at 3am

First time I've seen energy drinks sold in 2 liters,....yes,...2 liters.



So there you have it. Confusing, amusing, and always entertaining.




And with my first 5 months committed to the history facebook, I eagerly await the next 21. I hope everyone had a wonderful new years and may you all seize the world of possibilities 09' has at our collective fingertips.

To the Lonestar State, to Buffa-love, to Tahoe, to The Great Pacific Northwest and all the peguins in between; Happy 2009

Kavarna is a beautiful town. I love it. Can't get enough of it. The only glaring problem I find is the noticeable lack of street signs. To get anywhere I have to rely on something much greater than signs...rock stars. Sit back, put on some classic tunes (preferably anyone who was popular 20 years ago, dust off your leather jacket and enjoy.







From Seattle to Orange County to Buffalo to Tena, hope all is well.

Balto 2008

Thanksgiving: A time to be with family, a time to celebrate the blessings in your life, a time to walk on the highway at 5 in the morning...well, only in Bulgarian.
This weekend was my fist Thanksgiving in a foriegn country, and my first doing battle with Bulgarian transportation. So far, I have been lucky, and every trip I've done on has involved a direct route and no real problems. This weekend, BG got the better of TH Hewitt. Here is a play by play of my trip:

Friday 7pm: Take the last bus to Varna, 3rd biggest city in Bulgaria, with the goal of taking a night bus to Yablanitsa. The bus leaves at 11:45pm, which gives me enough yime to catch a movie, buy 11 cheeseburgers for thanksgiving, and leave in a timely manner.
Friday 10:45pm: Saw "Body of Lies" and left wanting to work for the CIA. My backpack is now full of cheesesburgers and I am certain my sweatshirt will smell of McDonald's for the next 2 years.
Friday 11:15: I realize any bus stop past 9pm is really shady and not a fun place to be.
Friday 11:40: I leap onto the bus as soon as the doors open. Cheeseburgers still warm.
Saturday 4:45am: A bus attendant tells me my stop is 15 minutes away. I am slightly dissapointed I won't be able to see the end of "Death Race" because I know the third act will really pull everything together.
Saturday 5:00-5:09am: I see a giant sign for Yablanitsa. I see another. And the bus keeps moving. And keeps going....and going. Yablanitsa signs have been replaces by road signs indicating Sophia is 62 km away. I tell the bus driver that Yablanitsa is (was) my stop. He looks at me, then tells me no problem.
Saturday 5:10am. The bus stops at a gas station and I am told "Its Yablanitsa". I get off the bus, and instantly the cold air attacks every inch of skin on my body. I know Yablanitsa is to my left, so I do what any reasonable person does; I start walking.
Saturday 5:12am. Two minutes into my journey, it starts to rain. Life is funny to me.
Saturday 5:47am: Life is not so funny.
Saturday 6:09am: I am now waling in a storm drain because on-coming traffic scares me.
Satrday 6:18am: I slip on something and eat it on a hill. My hands are numb so falling down leaves me indifferent at this point.
Saturday 6:32am: I start hallucinating. I tell myself I am on the modern day Iditarod, but now 10 mcdonald's cheeseburgers have replaced the diphtheria antitoxin
Saturday 6:47am: I start to question wheather or not I will be arrested for hitch-hiking. Every car now makes me incredibley paranoid.
Saturday 6:57am: I seriously debate eating all the cheeseburgers. I settle for one.
Saturday 7:00am: The most glorious sight I could behold; off ramp for Yablanitsa. I once again fall down a hill but I land at the bottom of a sign that reads "Sofia 80 km". I suddenly think back to the start of my journey...I have walked 18 km. Even though the comforting sign of Yablanitsa is in sight, I fail to read the bottom, which says '5km'.
Saturday 7:01am: As I summon my stenght to go another 5 km, a car begins to slow down behind me, and I hear the worst sound in the world: A police siren.
Saturday 7:01 +10 sec: :What will a Bulgarian prison be like, I wonder.
Saturday 7:02am: I am asked where I am going and what I am doing, all in Bulgarian. Luckily I make out the key phrase of "I am visiting a female friend" or preatilka. The police officer asks me her name. I say "Jenna", and then without a moment to pause he says "Jenna Back?". I say "yes" the most emphatically in my life. He tells me to get in the car, he will take me to her house.
Saturday 7:10am: I am walked to the door step of my friend's apartment, and given a hardy handshake and smile. The officer wishes me a nice day. I made it.

Life is funny sometimes

Family Fun mInus the Family

Kavarna is home to my 14th favorite sports team, the Kaliakra Football Club, but by far my favorite division 2 Bulgarian soccer league team. Home games are spectacular, especially the game I went to with my Bulgarian tutor on saturday. Now, I have been to games in my 4 major sports, and nothing can compare. First, games are free if you show up early, parking is free and any liquid known to man can be brought in. The only real drawback to the game I went to was the weather; absolutely freezing cold, hurricane winds and pouring rain. I once went to a Seahawks home game in December and that seemed like Tampa in the summer compared to this. Luckily, Kalikra's faithful are treated to covered seats, but due to the harsh winds, only the back to rows were safe from the rain.
As both sides marched onto the field, the entire crowd erupted into a chant of "hiday!" which basically means "hurry up". And this really set the tone for future chants and taunts. I saw seemingly mild mannered older gentlemen transform into soccer hooligans in a manner of seconds. This nice man seated a few seats down from me, said hi in a very pleasant manner, but as soon as the first call went to other teams way, he was throwing down something about someone's mother. And on top of this, someone brought a megaphone and would sporadically yell random phrases, but we sounded like the old grizzled father on telemundo. If you've seen telemundo, you know what I'm talking about. And to top this off, when the line judge called Kaliakra off-sides, a man literally charged the fence to give me a piece of his mind before he had to be restrained by his buddies. First half was awesome, and I figured it would all be down hill for the next 45 minutes. I was both right and wrong about this prodiction.
Remember how I said it was freezing cold? Well, I assumed it was in the low fifties since earlier that day I went running in shorts and t-shirt. Well, it was much colder...much colder. At the 55 minute mark, with the rain still coming down in buckets, my tutor nudges my arm and says something that sounds like "snyak". I have no idea what this means, but he points up, and keeps saying it...and then I realize he is referring to the snow which has begun to fall. Freaking snow. My first thought is "Man, a soccer game is a horrible place to freeze to death" but then I start to notice how horrible it must be for everyone on the field. The poor ball boys are soon rescued by the team equipment manager who gives each one a team parka, which promptly hangs down to their ankles. One player on the other team is bravely wearing a short sleeve jersey, and snow has started to collect on this hair. When the ball is within 50 feet of him, he runs like the wind, just trying to stay warm. Pretty soon, the whole field in a white blanket, and the ball is barely indistinguishable. I can't feel my toes. The cigarette intake of the fans has risen from smoke every 5 minutes to every 30 seconds, but most people can only last 2 puffs, before their hands get too cold. My shoulders are now permanently hunched over. My tutor leans over to his friends and informs him I am from Orange County. This gets a huge laugh, and if you told me a year ago I would be freezing my butt off at a soccer match in north-eastern Bulgaria, I probably would of laughed too.

I am Peace Corps, and so Can You

Self-esteem problems? Not feeling up to your usual stands? Or maybe you just had a bad day. The cure all solution: Teach english to 4th graders in Bulgaria. I can not overstate this enough; teaching english to 4th graders in Bulgaria is like scoring a touchdown in the superbowl, getting prom king/queen, going to Disneyland with no lines. And all you have to do? Draw pictures of animals from Finding Nemo, write 3-digit numbers, and read a story that is 4 sentences long.
When I arrived to the classroom, there was pandimomium. Kids were literally pushing each other over to look at me. One girl just stared, and then all at once blurted out "Hi-bye-hello-howareyou-hi". The game plan for the days lesson consisted of learning about the weather, telling time and sea animals. Surfing came up too, and two boys wanted to show me what surfing looks like, and eventually I had 15 kids pretending to surf. Mid-way through my tutorial on sea-horses and sting rays, a little girl, Natalie, ran up to the teacher and whispered something, then ran back to her desk. The teacher then told me she really wants to tell me the months of the year. Natalie, who by this point was about to jump out of her seat with a mile-wide smile, stood up and said 12 months in under 4 seconds. When I said "dobre" ('good' in Bulgarian) she giggled and every hand in the class shot up with the hope of showing off their calendar skills. Other high points were the number game, and when I asked everyone to share their favorite food, the only two responses were "hot-dog" and "pizza", which always generated a laugh from the class.
I was about the leave, backpack on, when a swarm of kids swamped me, with everyone strangely silent. Then the teacher told me "They want you to come back". I played to the crowd, and did a greatly exaggerated thinking face. Paused a few seconds for effect. And then told them of course I'll be back, which held to an eruption of "yeahhh!!!!!!". Followed by kids actually dancing (seriously) and yelling my name (which was adorably pronounced as "Two-bee"). My self-esteem is through the roof.

Happy Halloween

Halloween in Bulgaria is kind of like 'Boxing Day' in America; a few people might know about it but no one really knows what it is about or would ever celebrate it. Unfortunetly for my well-being, Halloween is my favorite time of year and I am sorely lacking the haunted houses, ghoulish creatures and that one guy who still thinks it funny to be Borat. In an effort to bring some American culture to Kavarna, I had a pumpkin carving day, which was met with intrigue, excitement and enthusiasm. However, I tried to have one kid help me scoop out pumpkin guts and he looked ill, like he had just preformed an autopsy. So other than scooping out 13 pumpkins by myself, the children here all did a great job designing their pumpkins. And a local media outlet came to videotape the proceedings as well as interview the goofy american who came up with this idea. Unfortunetly, they decided to interview me when I was elbow deep in pumpkin and covered in orange ecto-plasam. I was told to hold a pumpkin the whole time, which just looked awkward. Plus I was interviewed in Bulgarian and as any B-24 PCV will atest to, my bulgarian language skills sound like a mix between mandarian and a computer.
I hope everyone else is having a great Halloween, filled with tons of candy, Halloween Oreos with the orange filling,...and monster fest on AMC, and Knott's Scary Farm,...and special Halloween episdoes of "Family Matters",...and cookies in the shape of a ghost or a bat, and,...well I should probably start there. Happy Halloween Everyone!!!

Best Day of Work So Far

My busy task of googling my own name of suddenly interupted by the director of my children's complex calling out "Tu-bee-us, Tu-bee-us!" I jumped into action and raced down the hall to see what was a-foot. Turns out the door to her office is jammed and they hoped I could McCyver it open. Unfortunetly, my skills are not what they should be and I proposed going in through the window, which also yeilded little succes since the door still would not open. Out of ideas and frustrated at the door's poor craftsmanship, I felt defeated. As I was about to tuck my tail between my legs and meander back to gmail, when one of my co-workers looked at me and said "Schwarzenegger". She then proceed to make the international sign for 'kick the door down' and pointed to me. Not wanting to jump the gun, and not quite believing my life-long goal of breaking down a door was about to materialize, all I could muster was a faint "kakvo?" (which means "what" in bulgarian). Then my co-worker said "Seagal, Stallone" and kept making a kicking motion. This was it; I was in. Two kicks later and BAM, that door went down like Liston in the 8th. And for the record, this is a true story, and I may or may not have muttered a "yippie-ki-yay".

While I have the opportunity, and the proper internet connection, here is a few pictures of my journey this far, plus, my long lost son.

I live next to a 30 foot mural of Billy Idol

If the subject line to this email isn't enough to garner your
interest,...then I guess 80's rock just isn't your thing. Swearing in
was on thursday, and it was amazing. Amazing and incredibley,
cripplingly, agonizingly nervracking. I gave the speech during the
ceremony, which by itself is no big deal; However to throw fuel to the
fire, I had to give the speech in my native tougne and my not so
native tougne, Bulgarian. AND the day
before my language trainer informs me that 7 news stations have been
invited, with the biggest (BTV) definetly attending. True Story;
after we have just taken a group picture, my languge trainer tells me
(and this is almost verbatum) "Don't worry about the BTV camera a few
feet in front of you. Really, its not that big of deal". I managed
to pull it off and even had a few tears in the audience (surely from
my emotion words, not my butchering of the english language). The US
Ambassador was very friendly, and when I get around to it, I will send
you the picture I have with her.
After a fun night in the capital city and a not-that-bad hostel
stay, it was off to my future life in Kavarna. My new apartment is
sweet. Its on the 5th floor, or as I will tell everyone "the
penthouse sweet". I live in a studio, with a good sized bathroom,
couch and bed, and a kitchen with tables and couch. Plus I have a
balcony, with came with a kitten who is one of three friends I have in
Kavarna. I have named him Special Agent Jack Bauer and he loves gasoline.
Life here is nice so far, but I have gone through my Simpson's
dvd's pretty quick. My landlord's daughter, who speaks a little
english and therefore always comes with my landlord to talk to me,
told me her favorite country is California. I thought that was nice.
There is a ton of nice restaurant's here. My personal favorite is
"Kakadu". Think of a Bulgarian CPK (plasma tvs, cool artwork and good
pizza). Went there my first night to watch the big game. Bulgaria
vs. Italy of course. Ordered a salad, awesome pasta, and two beers.
I thought I went overboard considering I'm on a fixed budget but when
the bill came, I owed 11 dollars. What a country.
To wrap this up, on my first day of work, I am told there is a
"Scout" meeting on friday and if I could lead it. I asked what I
should do and was told it was Scouts. And then I was given a Boy
Scouts book which was clearly written before Carter was in office. I
will let you all know how this goes.
-Tobias "With A Rebel Yell" Hewitt

The Long and Endless Road

10 weeks so soon? As I write this I have but 3 short days left in the busy world of village life. I will be departing my host family, and all the comforting emenities such as a washing machine, food, and lively conversation (or watching Survivor: Bulgaria during dinner). My Bulgarian language training has also drawn to a close but believe me when I say it will never really end. I have my final test on monday to see if I can actually comprehend this language. I have to place in the intermediate- low category. I see myself as more of a novice-advanced but time will tell. With the onslaught of winter set to hit Bulgaria way to soon, I've been working more and more with my host families winter food preparations aka picking an ungodly amount of potatoes. I've really started to get the hang of it, but thats probably because I am always given the most basic, rudamentary task. ("Tobias, can you pick up this and put it over there?").
Harvesting aside, I have been chosen by my fellow peace corps volunteers to give a speech at our swearing-in ceremony. Big honor and I will not dissapoint....until I found out I have to give my speech in english AND Bulgarian. Good times to come. My group's community project was designing a mural, incorporating a "welcome to...", the map of Bulgarian, the EU logo and the town's crest. Kids from the town helped to paint it and we also had face-painting, trash-pick up, introduction to the musical styling's of Jay-Z and lessons on how to throw a football. All-in-all a very successful day. So successful, the local news channel (Rilia) came to interview us. It was close to 50 degrees at the time but I felt compelled to wear my go-ing away present. Yes, it is a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles t-shirt that says "Say Yes to Pizza, Not Drugs" but I believe the youth of Bulgarian need to know where I stand on narcotics and delicious entres.
As I wrap this up, I would like to give a special shout out to an awesome person: Miss Emily Harper. All of Bulgaria is thinking about you (well, just the part of Bulgaria that went to Santa Margarita High School) and wishes you a speedy recovery!