Four things that will be explained in far greater detail next week:

What its like to be on Bulgarian TV
The fan experience during a small town soccer match
How Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Jay-Z and 2 liters of paint go together
An explanation of why next year could include Sylvester Stallone

Hope the school year is off to a great start and all those current graduates are watching some quality day-time television.

Play by Play of my Trip to Kavarna:

Wednesday:
5:15: Wake up but only in a physical sense. Mentally I am still in imagination land, playing shuffle board with Alf.
8:06: After hour car ride to train station, and waiting around for awhile, first leg of journey begins with 2 hour train ride to Sofia.
8:08: Train stops unexpectedly. May or may not be because of a cow on the tracks.
10:35: Arrive in Sofia, run to catch the bus for Kavarna; asked if I speak French.
11:00: Bus leaves, and I am told it is only an 8 hour trip. I pass in and out of sleep, waking up to (in chronological order) Die Hard 4, The Big Lebowski, Hot Fuzz and a French film about pies to the face and imperialism.
7:35: The Black Sea is welcoming me as the bus finally reaches its destination.

Thursday

My hotel room overlooks the sea, and there is only one other group of people in the entire hotel; a Russian female water polo team. For breakfast, and just about every other meal, I am the sole client for the restaurant staff. I am picked up at 10am on the dot, and am whisked away by a personal driver. First stop is the town center, which looks alot like down town Santa Monica, just with more capris. I am shown the Mayor's office (Tsonko Tsonnev is his christian name, by he goes by 'The Metal Mayor' for his love of Heavy Metal Music. More on that later). Introduced to numerous members of the municipality, and given chocolate repeatedly. The crem de la creme of the office is a gold record signed by all the members of Deep Purple. How many people have held a Deep Purple gold record? I assume its in the single digits. After a brief walk around the down-town, I am shown the excellent children's complex, which will function as my main work place. Rooms for art, fashion design, internet, board games and anything else I want to come up with. Staff is incredibley nice and I tell them how much I look forward to my new job.
Next stop is the sports complex and the stadium. I will split my time between the children's complex and the sport's complex. However, I take a tour of the table tennis warehouse, and I know instantly where the bulk of my time will be spent. The stadium of Kavarna can hold approx. 40,000 people for concerts and also is home to a professional soccer team. Decorating the gym walls in the sport's complex is various banners of past concerts. To name a few: Billy Idol, White Snake, Slayer, Motorhead, Manowar, and....Robert Plant. I still have to ask my counterpart if I am actually in the Peace Corps, or did I get rerouted to a parallel world.
Exhausting morning makes way for a lazy afternoon,..at the beach. The town of Kavarna sits on a hill 2 km from the beach, and 1km from an olympic sized pool. At the beach, I am asked "Are you wearing basketball shorts?" numerous times. I should be in euro-trunks by the end of 2009, tan willing. 3 minutes into swimming I realize I am out of shape and haven't been swimming in over half a year. After another 30 minutes of struggling to stay afloat, my counterpart makes a bold statement "You are white. Do you tan?" I tell him I have two years to work on it. Eventually I make my way back to the hotel, where I fall asleep watching RoboCop 2.
Next day I am in for a treat: there is a kickboxing tournament at the Sport's complex. I am asked sheepishly if I would like to go, as if my bougesoi tastes would be above to human beings kick the crap out of each other. I am in the car, ready to go before I can even respond with a resounding "yes". There are teams from everywhere in Bulgaria, with ages from (not kidding) 6 year olds to professionals in their late 20's. The little kids fighting are awesome. They have more padding than stuntmen, and three refs constantly monitor the fight, which seems to stop every time there is actual contact between the participants. Slightly strange then to see a boxing ring adjacent to these kids, where grown men are throwing right crosses, kicks to the abdomen, and generally destroying each other. The head of the tournament has a gym in Kavarna and asks, through my counterpart, if I would like to try kickboxing. Just then a man is knocked out cold on the canvas. I tell him I have to ask the peace corps, and then I pray it is against PC policy. My time's up. More to come. Go Dodgers

Just found out my permanent site: Go east, when you hit the sea, go up. There was only one spot on the Black Sea and out of nowhere I got it. Really did not see this coming, and I am pleasantly surprised. Lots of angry looks from my fellow PCV's. Apparently the town is awesome and town center is less than 2 km from the beach. Plus, and this is a huge plus, my new city is the Rock n Roll capital of Bulgaria. Black Sabbath, Slayer, Sting, Dio to name a few have all played there. Yes, the jealousy has begun. Here's a picture.

Hallejuah

I am not a sinner. Boastful? Blasphemous? Pretencious? Possibly, but here in Bulgaria my sin-free soul has been scientifically proven. At the awe-inspiring Rila Monastery, there is a cave about 3 miles away where a monk lived for 12 years with no physical immenities to test his devotion to God. What does this have to do with me? Well, you can go inside the cave (which is now more or less a shrine) and at the top is a whole. It is believed that only those who are free of sin can fit through the hole. Presto, instant weight off my mind.
My weekend excursion was a great experience and helped clear my mind of this impending monday: my permanent site, were I will spend the next 2 year,s is going to be announced. Will it be a big city? A small village? Will the people be nice? Will there be a 24 Hour Fitness? So many questions.
And to end on a positive, mystery-free note, I brought a little bit of college life to my small town. The picture is of my host father, Ascen and I. Good times.

Crazy couple of days here in the Bulg. 100 degree fever, a puppy bitting my toes off, learning that Bulgarian basketball is truly 'no blood, no foul', etc., etc. The little teddy bear in question is known as "Rocko", "Tobe", "Simba", "Quake", "Spiccoli", "Lil' Stamos" and "Jaws". I spent an hour and half with this guy and in no special order he chewed on my fingers, my toes, my shorts, my leg hair and my achilles. He started out not even go near humans, but in only a weeks time he is already coming up to me, playing with me and sending me christmas cards. The name situation is combination of what transfers to Bulgarian and his personality. "Jaws" seems very appropriate at the moment, but name suggestions are always welcome.
I have also begun my social integration with the youth of Bulgarian by regularly playing basketball with a few kids near my house. This is not like playing at the local Y. Court lines are different, nets are non-existent, and there are no rules. My limited vocabulary doesn't include "traveling, double-dribbling, 'hey, I think you just elbowed me in the face'". Games here include of volleyball style sets and full on tackles when you drive to the hoop. One of the kids, Mario, has a pretty nice grasp on English and he would ask me "Whats your favorite team, favorite player, where are you from" and I now have the nickname "Hollywood" (At least its not Goose).
And now the bad part of my week: a 38 degree fever!...celcius, which took me a while to figure out is around 100 degrees farenheit. I woke up after a horrible night of sweating, shivering and overall discomfort to inform my host dad "Polen", which means 'I'm sick'. He gave me a me a look, felt my burning forehead and said "Your're fine". But my pathetic look probably changed his mind and he took my temperature to be 38 celcius. I did the tried-and-true method of times by two and add 32, which gave me a temp of 108 which would probably mean I was dead. One Peace Corps medical kit later and my self diagnosis revealed a low-grade fever of 100. Luckily my fever broke pretty quick and I only wasted 9 hours of my day.

Hey Sports fans-

Some people find loose change in their house, others find their car keys. At my host family house, we found a puppy. In a room usually reserved for wood and other winter necessities, there was a puppy no bigger than my hand who looks a little like a cross between Balto and a sheep dog (pictures coming soon). I couldn't believe it. And no one really reacted to this treasure of adorableness. My parents, and their grandchild who was visiting for the day, looked at each, asked the bulgarian equivalent of "whats its name?". A slight pause, then "Two-bee"! Laughter all around, and my mark has been left on this great country.
What else is happening? Its really, really hot here and the finals for the women's air rifle competition was better than in 2004. HAVE A GOOD ONE

My host father Assen is a real character. To paint a picture in your head, imagine Mike Lopez at 63 and you have a pretty good foundation. Then mix in Jacque Cousteau's face, but Bulgarianized (really use your imagination). Finally, add kindness, humor and a great big ol' heart. Wait 63 years, and presto, Assen.

This is the greatest and best puppy in the world. And he lives next door to me. Thy name be Gina
And the little Tiger Woods is Christopher who refers to me as "Tooobe"

Tilling the Land

(I should be in the process of getting wireless access just about every monday, so every monday it is my hope but not my promise to update this)
Aug 7th, 2008


Today, I think I became a man. I went out to the fields and picked plums. Sound easy? Thats just the sheltered college educated young adult in you talking. How many times did you go to your job in a donkey chart? I'm guessing its in the ballpark of zero. Its a surreal experience going down the street by donkey-power. Add to the surrealness when other donkey charts stroll past you, and your preception as to whether or not this is Amish country begins to set in. From the brisk ride on our trusty steed, I arrive at a giant hay field. I freakin hate hay. I downed two claritins and told myself this was my vision quest. I popped another claritin. We come to a giant tree which dominates the field. I start thinking I'm going to have to call on my 7 year old climbing abilities but "come to find out" its time to get down and dirty. I spent close to an hour picking plums off the ground, which was covered in hay. The subtle sound of each plum returning to their fallen brotherin in my bucket almost made the hours fly by. My work was rather stationary as I couldn't move more than one of two steps for fear of crushing the bounty below us. I tired to make a game out of my toil: how not to look like a South-Orange County white boy. I think I changed a few minds but time will tell. And then it started to rain. And then there was lighting in the distance. But damnit, I wasn't going to quit. And then I found out we are going back tomorrow. However, everything was made worthwhile when it was discovered the purpose behind the plum picking actually was: all the plums are used to make a homemade liquer called Rikia. So, like the dream of all fraternities, my house will have a giant tub of alcohol made entirely within the premises. Bulgaria, how I love thee.


and here is my new address:

Tobias Hewitt
c/o Peace Corps
Zora Community Center
2 Nikolavska str. floor 3
2600 dupnitsa , bulgaria

Bulgarian TV

Today I watched Sonic the Hedgehog in Bulgarian. People might say "the Effiel Tower at sunset", climbing Mount Everest, or building a house but,...watching Sonic the Hedgehog in Bulgarian is something everyone should do before they die. Top of my Bucket list. And something that only I would find funny is that there are so many American tv shows over here, which were all cancelled prematurely. They advertise shows like "Kojak" (Ving Rhames version which lasted less than 1 full season) and Karen Sisco. Plus, Lunka and Assen both love watching tv with dinner, which makes meals seem a little less foriegn. The show of the moment is a Spanish soap opera dubbed in Bulgarian. I think I'm getting the plot, but I just can't figure out how Ivan managed to date Nikola's mom while at the same time arranging the accident which took his own brother's life? Must be a translation issue. But I did watch both Animal Planet, Galaxy Quest and A League of Their Own in English today. I wasn't being anti-social, but my family had to go to a funeral. And that my friends is how to end a blog on a positive note.